Girls' Nights are some of my favorite times - hands down. I have a blast with my girlfriends and we've done everything from traveling to other cities, taking goofy pictures, and having a range of talks about anything and everything. I love my girl time and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Tonight is one of those nights and I'm pumped. The plans are to catch dinner and then a movie. Your pretty basic GNO.
Except I got this really uneasy feeling about this one because of two words:
Magic Mike
Yep - that's the plan. Dinner and then head to a movie - a specific movie. Magic Mike.
For those of you that have been under a rock, this movie is about stripping. Male stripping to be exact.
Honestly when I first saw previews for it my mind went - "Heck yes I'm going to see that! Hello! Matthew McConaughey? Channing Tatum?" What girl wouldn't want to see that on the big screen?
(Hmmm...Proverbs 31 going through anyone else's mind right now?)
So as the plans were made I told Cody that the girls and I were going to catch dinner and a movie. He asked a simple question - "What movie?"
For some reason I didn't want to tell him. (Red flag anyone?) If I was ashamed to tell my husband why should I even be considering it?
So I told him. And as soon as I did I noticed a drop in his face. Not anger- and I'm not even sure it was disappointment. It was just different and it broke my heart. I right away asked him if he was okay with my going. His response was, "Would you want me to go see a movie about girl strippers?"
Ouch.
I wanted to scream, "It's so different! It's guys not girls - they can't show as much with just a R rating." But guess what? It's not different. As much I want it to be it's not.
Can anyone say double standard?
ME! Double standard!
Who am I to say I don't want my husband to watch that type of movie and then turn around and watch it myself? Not cool Heather, not cool.
But, Cody said he was fine with me going and I texted my girlfriends back, said I was in, and then purchased my ticket online because it is, after all, the first day it's been open and I wouldn't want the disappointment of missing out.
But God wrestled with my heart all night and all morning. It just didn't seem alright with me. I even got a text this morning from another girlfriend saying she was in need of a GNO soon and I told her she could join us tonight. My text actually said, "We're going to see an inappropriate movie."
Wait right there. I called it inappropriate and was still okay going to see it?
Is that the kind of woman I want to be? The kind of wife I want to be? The kind of mother I want to be?
No. It's not.
I knew what I had to do. And that is not go. I have every reason in the world to want to go. Great friends, the okay from the hubby, and McConaughey/Tatum. What's not to love?
How about the feeling in my gut that it is just wrong?
Now I realize to some this is going to sound "judgy" and that's not my intention at all. In no way do I think people seeing this movie is going to make people horrible. I just know my own weaknesses and I'm not willing to give myself a foothold.
How can I sit in a Sunday school room and ask girls that are seniors in high school to dress appropriately so the guys aren't tempted, and then turn around and watch something that I know will tempt me?
How can I be a mom trying to raise my daughter to know what a godly woman is and then turn around and act in a way that I know is not godly?
How can I be a wife trying to honor my husband if I'm going to go watch other men take off their clothes?
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend to be. But I do want to be intentional about my choices. It was just Wednesday night when I heard a message about loving Jesus and being a Christian when it's easy and convenient, but being a completely different person the rest of the time. I can't continue to say I'm one way and then act another just because it's fun.
Do I sound like a bible thumping crazy extremist Christian? Probably. And people are probably going to make fun of me. Luckily for me it's not my girlfriends though, because when I told them why I couldn't go to the movie they were all supportive. Told you my friends were awesome. :)
I'm so thankful that they stick with someone as crazy as me!
1 comment:
You know what? I NEEDED to hear it said just exactly like this. I haven't felt bad about wanting to see it so much, so it wasn't that I felt it would be a foothold for me, but when you mentioned your thought about "if it were a female stripper movie they could get away with showing much more with an R rating" that hit me square in the forehead. That is EXACTLY almost word for word what I just told a friend the other day. Honestly if I'm having to make excuses for why it's ok then it's probably not ok. And although my husband would probably not care one bit if I did go see it because he knows where my heart lies, I love him enough to want to honor him better than that. Thank you for helping to make it more clear to me why I shouldn't see this. I really appreciate it and I admire you for saying no to GNO, which you wanted and probably needed so bad. <3
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