Next week is the next meeting of a group that is starting up at my church and I am so pumped about it! We're a group of working moms that decided to get together to fellowship, vent, and support each other. I've never felt as at ease with people I barely knew than the first time we met. I barely know these women so far, yet I feel like they "get" me in a way some of my other friends do not.
It all started at a bible study several weeks ago. I was with some girls from my Sunday School class that are precious to me. But that night there were lots of comments that really, really hurt me. The girls doing it had no intention of hurting me, and I'm sure they still don't know that they did. But I left that night and cried almost the entire drive home. I felt so alone in my "working mom" status and some of their words really did sting.
But I want to make something very clear - I am not ashamed of being a working mom. Not one single bit. I 110% LOVE my job and feel it's a true calling. My guilt comes from not feeling guilty about working if that makes any sense at all. But I am so very tired of being with the same girls that keep saying the same things to me and about me. There is one precious friend I have that is my Sunday School class who just happens to be a stay at home mom. She always has a way of sticking up for me when others make their comments, and I love her dearly for that. But it's been so hard for me this school year to relate to some of the other girls. In fact, I haven't gone back to bible study since that night for that very reason.
Something that my very close friends know about me is I don't sit around and feel sorry for myself for long. I make changes that will change my feelings. Sometimes that means shutting people out and I'm not proud of that. Sometimes it means starting up something new. Sometimes I get in over my head and it backfires against me. But this time I've got some pretty awesome girls that are along for the ride and I think great things are going to happen! The night of the bible study I went home an emailed the preschool minister at my church. I told her I think we needed to start up a Mom Time for working mothers. My church does a great job of supporting moms that are available during the day, but wasn't doing too much for the working moms. Our preschool minister didn't even think twice about it and was willing to put it extra work to make it great. So we met, came up with a survey, planned our first event, and made a list of people who might be interested in becoming a part of the group.
The first meeting was wonderful!!! For the first time in a long time I didn't dread the part of the night when we went around the table and introduced ourselves. I wasn't worried about being the only working mom like I was getting pretty used to. Now I was one among many - everyone at the table! I loved it! It made me so comfortable. We laughed, talked about our kids, talked about our hubbies, just everything. I had a blast!!! I'm so thankful for this new group and I hope that it continues to grow and supports more mamas like me! :)
3 comments:
Good for you Heather! I hear you loud and clear, some people have no idea what it is like to love your job, or just love to work, lol. I love both and I love Luke's school. He is so social I would be taking so much away from him if I made him stay home. I hope the rest of your meetings are as enjoyable if not better! Working moms are wonderful!
I'm glad that you can handle work and family full time. I don't think God gave me that gift. I love being home, and I love working part time. You keep doing what you're doing!
You know, Heather, I think of a lot of the guilt that working moms who do feel guilty experience comes from the fact that they are just not totally fulfilled or happy with their jobs and think that they ought to be at home (I mean, if you are not loving your job situation, you feel bad for "choosing" something you aren't all in 100% over your own child, and you end up mourning that time away from them) -- or that they feel down deep that their own calling is actually not at work but should be at home -- or that they are not completely happy with their daycare/babysitting arrangements and feel that their children are being shortchanged b/c their mom is working. As far as I know, you thankfully don't have any of those prickles -- you are CALLED to teach, and you feel good about where Kaitlyn is spending her days. You know she is happy and healthy and thriving. That lets you truly focus on your calling during your working hours, and it doesn't have to mean you are doing anything wrong.
(You know I speak from experience -- I have seen both sides -- and have analyzed this inside my head a lot ;) I LOVED my work and my co-workers, but I felt God leading me somewhere else for a season. And my daughter cried every single day for 2 1/2 years when I dropped her off. I knew something just was not right.)
God puts different "good works" in front of each of us to do in each stage of our lives, and I think your lack of guilt just might be solid evidence that you are right where he wants you to be right now. Don't feel guilty for not feeling guilty :) Feel blessed that God has put such fulfilling tasks on your plate, that of wife, mother, AND educator, and that you are equipped for and enjoy each of them. All the children you touch are lucky to have you!
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