Nothing to Something

Day 2 of She Reads Truth says this:

The Lord God takes the most basic thing of all – the dust of the earth – and he transforms it with the breath of his mouth and the touch of his glory and he makes it after His own image. Perfect. Complete.

Sisters, do you feel dry today? Do you feel ordinary, outcast, or rejected? Do you know that the same Lord God of power and perfection who breathed life into Adam and into that pile of dry bones can breathe new life into you? Do you know that this same God seeks out the despised and small and it is they that he chooses? It is they that He will exalt.

And he will make them – he will make you – perfect. Complete.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!” 1 Cor 5:17

 Too often I let voices tell me that I'm not good enough to fulfill work for God.  Sure, I can teach but am I truly giving my all?  Am I making a different for the kingdom of God?  Am I a good enough mother and wife?  Am I encouraging others the way God wants me to?  I HATE those doubts that pop up so many times each day.  

What I NEED to do is rely on God.  He can take someone like me and make His purpose perfect through me.  That's hard for me though.  It's hard for me to let go of control of things - just ask my husband!  ;)

So, in true New Year's fashion - out with the old and in with the new!  

Fresh Start

My friend Leigh Anne posted a picture to Instagram at the end of December that explained a website called shereadstruth.com It's a website that is trying to bring women together by reading truths from the bible and reflecting on them as a community. 

Please and thank you!

If you want to check it out, click on the button that is posted on the top right of my blog.  :)

So, I have been reading the posts, but haven't yet written my reflections in the blog world.  Let's be honest - I'm terrible at actually keeping up things that have more than a week of "assignments."  I don't think I've ever actually finished a monthly photo challenge, month of thankfulness, etc.  But I'll write when I can.  That's all I can promise.  :)

So Day 1 was about Fresh Starts....fitting for the new year of course.  :)  The readings made me think of the last sermon of the year that my pastor preached.  It was one of my favorites.  I'll get more to it later.

Here is a part from Day 1 of She Reads Truth:

And knowing all of that – knowing that He was creating the plants and yielding the seeds that would one day be his cross, that the beasts of the fields would need to be used as sacrifices for His people – knowing this then, the Author and Creator saw it all and called it good.
But why? It may seem trite to say, but the answer is love. He made the world perfect knowing that it would become imperfect and that He would make it new again. And hard as it may be to believe, He did it for the process. God had the power to skip right to the end, or to never create the world to begin with. But he did create it, and he did it to show Himself to us, that we might know Him. That we might know the breadth and length and height and depth of his love for us (Eph 3:18); that we might experience His grace.

God doesn't need us, but He wants us.  Isn't that amazing?

Now, back to the sermon.  The sermon from my pastor was about 1 Peter 1:3-12.  We talked about refining. God sometimes puts "fire' in our lives to refine us.  God will not simply leave us alone.  We have two choices in responding - we can either be refined by the heat or burned by it.

I think the first response can sometimes be the hardest.  Sure, waiting on a job, the right guy to come along, etc. can be tough to wait on and some might consider that a "fire."  But what my mind keeps going back to is all the parents who lost their precious children on December 14th at Sandy Hook.  Believing that God can use that takes real faith.  As a mother, I think my natural reaction would be to become angry and cold, but that's not what the Word teaches us to do.  I'm not sure how long it would take me to come to that realization if I was coming home to an empty bed where my child used to sleep each day.

I still firmly believe that what happened that day was NOT God's will, but I also believe that God can use it.  I'm not sure how just yet, but I know He is bigger than all that hurt and pain.

She Reads Truth concluded with this on Day 1:

What will be your response today, sisters? Will you find comfort (even joy!) in the cradle of the Almighty’s hand? Will you rest in the hope that He will restore creation – that He will restore you? The newness came and it was glorious, and it is coming again!

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation [that’s a promise]. But take heart; I have overcome the world [and so is that!].” (John 16:33, ESV, emphasis added)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8,9, ESV)

New Year's Goals

2012 was a great year for the Bush family! 

Here are a few highlights of our year:
*Cody got a new promotion in his company and LOVES his new job
*I was honored to receive the award of Arlington ISD's elementary teacher of the year
*We took an awesome anniversary trip to Hot Springs, AK
*We paid off Cody's truck
*Our sweet K turned 4
*I turned 30...sigh... ;)
*Our first "real" class of seniors at church went off to college and have thankfully stayed in touch
*I took a new job at a different school
*We put our house on the market

So...what does 2013 hold for us?  Hopefully a lot!  Here are some goals for the new year:

*More meal planning so I can utilize my time at home and save money...I did so good with this at the beginning of last year and slowly stopped. (Another post coming soon about this)
*Invite more people over to our house for more occasions
*Get a new house (This will really help out with the above goal!)
*Celebrate Cody's 30th (PARTY!!!)
*READ MORE - and not just teacher books
*Pray more together as a couple and as a family
*Find more ways to serve
*Encourage others more frequently

Overall, I just want to enjoy my precious family and friends more this year.  So many times this past year I was reminded how precious life is and that none of us know how much time we really have left with each other.  I want to learn to not spend time on the things that don't deserve it and devote my time to what means the most. 

So, welcome 2013!  I can't wait to see what you have in store!  :)

Home Update

So, apparently I was wrong and our house didn't go on the market the day after Christmas.  I just got an email today from the relator's office that the pictures are done and the listing will go up later today.  After we look and "approve" the listing they will send out a "blast" to over 1,000 realtors. 

Wow.  I guess it's really happening.  

I keep going through so many emotions.  Excitement of a new house.  Scared that nobody will like this house.  Terrified that we'll sell this one and not find another house that has everything I want.  Sadness of leaving so many great memories behind.  

That last part kind of caught me off guard at first.  I've done nothing but want to get out of this house for the last few years, but the thought of actually doing it makes my heart hurt a bit.  This is where Cody and I spent our first year of marriage.  It's where we brought Kaitlyn home.  It's been where we've shared laughs, game nights, and everything in between.  We've even had a few arguments - haha!  ;)  

All I know to do is pray.  Pray that this is the right choice for our family and that better things will come.  

Also praying that I can keep a house with two dogs and a four year old clean for showings in the near future!  

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Sex - sexy - love making - etc. etc. etc.

Now, before you think I've gone crazy I will not be sharing ANY personal details about my marriage.  What this post is about is how many stinking places I have to see and hear about sex every day.  I finally got disgusted with the television and turned it off.  My poor daughter was exposed to the words sexy and sex 3 times in under 10 minutes.  What were we watching?  FAMILY FEUD.

Seriously?

This is what our society has become?  I can't even watch a game show with my daughter without the fear of her hearing something inappropriate?  And a game show with the name family in it?

Sadness.

I can't take her in the mall without seeing barely clothed women in Victoria's Secret's windows.  Heck, I can't even drive to the mall without passing a place called Cindy's that has "costumes" in the windows.

Don't even get me started about turning on the radio.

I can't stand this.  I just want to stick her in a bubble and say, "This is not beauty.  This is not love.  This is not who you have to be."  Right now she's 4 and easily listens to me.  What happens when she's 16 and thinks her mom knows nothing, but those girls at school do?

I don't want her to live a sheltered life, but my goodness!  I feel like we've all lost classiness.

Do boy moms worry about them being exposed to all this?  I'm sure it's hard to bring up a Godly man when there is temptation all around.  Do they grow up thinking women have to be like this?  I was so sadden a few weeks ago when the Victoria Secret fashion show came on.  Young teens from my church were posting about how excited they were that it was on.  Others were posting how fat they thought they were and how the show reminded them they needed to lose weight.  These girls were already smaller than most girls will ever be.

Why did we become this way?  How?  When did it get this bad?

Remember when Lucy and Ricky walked into their bedroom?  They had separate beds.  Sex was never once mentioned.

Now it's everywhere.  You can't even watch a family game show.  And if you do find a pretty decent show...well, just brace yourself for the commercials.  :( 

Home Sweet Home

Our house goes on the market the day after Christmas.  I'm still kind of shocked to see the for sale sign in our yard each time I drive home.  We've talked about this for a while now, but it's actually happening now.

We're not moving to another city or anything like that.  We just want another house.  I'm not really looking for much bigger, although of course that might be nice.  The house that we're in now just has never felt like home to me.  I can't explain why, but it just doesn't.

I bought the house myself the first year I was teaching.  I was so excited about getting a place of my own and just didn't take the time to consider everything the future would hold.  I looked at it as our starter home.  Cody shopped with me because we were already engaged and knew he would be living with me right after we got married.  My dad was a financial adviser and advised me to not get an apartment, but to find a small house so that I could make my money back one day.  Cody and I agreed that we would live here for a few years then try to find something more "homey" to me.  I knew I didn't want to raise children in this house.

Kaitlyn is now 4.

So, we finally bit the bullet and we're doing it.  We have a wonderful friend at church who just happens to be a relator and someone we both trust.  He has made the process painless and I'm thankful for that.  I'm not sure how long it will take to sell, but we're not in a hurry.  I said the goal was to be out of here and settled into a new house by the time K starts kindergarten.  Well, that's in the Fall of 2014.  I hope it doesn't take that long, because patience has never been my strong point, but I'm surprisingly calm this time around.

My main concern is finding that Goldilocks house - you know, not too this and not too that, but just right.  I'm not looking for fancy, I'm not looking for huge - I just want home.  I'm not sure what that means yet, but I'll know it when I see it.  It will be that house where I can see K doing her homework and having friends over.  It's that house where I can see me finally getting to host a Thanksgiving dinner or a weekly youth group bible study.

I can't wait to see what the future holds for our family!  :)

Elf on the Shelf

We became one of those families this year.  One of those families that has an elf - an elf on the shelf.  Someone at K's school mentioned having an elf at their house and she told me how much she wished Santa would send an elf to her house.

What's a mom to do?

Go to Target and get one - that's what.  And then to Barnes and Noble because Target was out of the skirts and we wanted a girl one.  Yes, I am THAT mom.

Thus began the daily routine of moving the elf, dubbed Sparkle, into a new spot.  Some spots are goofy, some sweet, and some that are kind of "normal" ones because this mama was running out of ideas.  Now, don't get me wrong - the elf totally creeps me out.  I was the girl that made my parents bag up my Raggedy Ann doll and put it in the attic when I was little after I saw an episode of Unsolved Mysteries where a Raggedy Ann doll was supposedly possessed.  After I saw that, I was scarred for life and still want nothing to do with those dolls.

But my daughter doesn't think her elf is creepy, so I'm doing it.  Each and every day until Christmas comes.  And guess what?  I'm actually putting effort into it.  I am so tired of people on Facebook telling me in a not so subtle way that what I'm doing is stupid.  Yes, in a way I'm lying to my kid.  Yes, the doll is creepy.  Yes, the elf does bad things. 

If you don't like it, well, don't look at it.  Or you know what?  Go ahead and unfriend me.  I don't do it for your approval, I promise.  I do it for my daughter and to share those moments with my family and close friends that LOVE to talk to K about it.   

Let me elaborate:

Lying to my kid - I get it.  Not everyone wants to do Santa, the elf, etc.  But I do and I hate the judgement for it.  My daughter gets SO VERY excited every morning when she gets to go find Sparkle.  If you could see her face you would do it in a heartbeat too.  K believes in Santa, but she knows about Jesus too.  She can tell you the entire Christmas story if you'll take the time to listen.  She knows where to find it in her bible too.  Am I bragging?  No.  I'm just putting it out there that we do instill in her the true meaning of Christmas while also celebrating the "Santay" part.  I love that she still has her innocence.  Trust me - my being a teacher for this long has let me see too many children that lose that way too early.  Our culture is making kids grow up way too fast and I'm tired of it.  I'm not pushing my daughter into having adult conversations with us, to dress older than her age, or to not have an imagination.  I want her to be 4.  If your family chooses not to have Santa, I'm okay with that too.  Everyone knows what is best for their family, but please don't tell me what I'm doing with mine is wrong - every. single. day. on. Facebook.  We get it - you don't like it.  Point made.

Our elf does do some "bad" things.  Sparkle hasn't done anything too crazy, but she does do some things that I would hope K would never do.  But guess what?  I do things each day that I wish I wouldn't do.  That's the point I'm trying to make with K and her elf.  We all mess up, but there is grace.  If only the truly good people got presents for Christmas there would be no Black Friday and no crowded parking lots right now.  We all get second chances (and third, fourth, etc.) and thank God for that!  My first graders learn about grace when it's time for their first folder sign.  I pull each of them aside and tell them that I should sign their folder because of their actions, but we all deserve grace and this is your one grace when it comes to me signing your folder.  The next time you break our class promises I will sign your folder.  And guess what I see?  They begin to grace each other.  When Sparkle does bad things we talk to K about grace and how God forgives us.  Now guess who is talking about grace - and not just because it's her middle name?  ;)

Does it take me a little extra time to make Sparkle do some silly things? Yep, but nothing has taken longer than five minutes.  And each minute that I've used is worth it to me when I hear my daughter say, "Sparkle!  You have to try harder to be good, but I still love you!"

Yep - I love that elf.