C-section??? Tonight???

Wow - I cannot even begin to explain the last two weeks. I put a quick update on here, but I'll go into more detail now - now that I'm able to. I'll have to do it in parts though because there is so much to cover. Before I swear I was running on straight adrenaline. I honestly don't know how I got through some of what I did...my God is an awesome God let me tell you!

Cody and I had a scheduled sonogram last Wednesday. Actually, it was one we were going to have earlier, but I had to reschedule it because I needed to go to my "normal" doctor. Let me back up for a bit...some of you may not know this because, well, it just doesn't always come up into conversation. (And my mother is going to kill me for putting it up on my blog...she's still coming to terms with the whole sharing of information on the internet) :) I have what is called a bicornis uterus which means basically I have a heart shaped uterus instead of a normal one. Mine has two "horns" as the doctors say. This is something we didn't find out about until our first sonogram and the technician went, "Oh." I knew that wasn't the best thing for her to say and then I got the news. Basically I was told that the biggest problem with someone with my condition is getting pregnant. That explains why it took Cody and I so long after we started trying to get pregnant. I was also told that my uterus might not be able to stretch enough for full term baby and that I would most likely have a c-section. Naturally I was scared to death thinking I was going to lose my baby. My doctor referred me to a specialist to monitor Kaitlyn's growth (which is why I have so many sonogram pictures). Everything was normal the entire time and I thanked God after each sonogram that our little girl was doing great. The one we had done prior to this last one even showed that she was head down which meant I might be able to deliver her naturally and avoid the c-section. Then Wednesday, September 10th came...

I left school just a little bit early to make it to the appointment. I thought it would be no big deal and I was going to head up to church right after for the first night of children's choir. Cody met me up at the doctor's office and in no time we were in the sonogram room ready to see our little girl again. The technician was so very nice, but soon into the sonogram she got very quiet. She quickly printed out two pictures for us and then left to get the doctor. She was gone for quite a while and Cody and I were just talking about all the things left in the nursery we needed to do. I honestly just thought the technician was shy or just straight to the point...I didn't think anything was wrong right then. Then the doctor came in and without a hello or how are you he quickly told me, "Heather, your amniotic fluids are dangerously low and I need to get you to labor and delivery now. We need to have this baby today." I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I didn't even have words to say. Cody quickly grabbed my hand and the doctor was explaining something to him about the cord possibly being wrapped around her if we didn't get her out soon, but at the point my ears were basically ringing and I was crying. I went numb all over and basically felt like I was in a bad dream. I was only one day shy of 35 weeks and I had just read that her lungs were not fully developed yet. How can they be telling me it was time to get her out?

They took us to some kind of stress test room and told us we could wait there until they got a hold of my regular doctor. By this time I was shaking all over. Cody and I both got on our phones and called our parents. I remember trying to act so calm and asking my mother to come get Darcy and bring my bag (that was not yet packed completely) up to the hospital. After that I called Beth from church and let her know that I would be able to come to children's choir that night...and I was suppose to bring cookies. Then I called my team and let them know I wouldn't be at work the next day. Cody and I continued to call friends and family to let them know what was going on...I felt as though I was on autopilot the whole time.

Soon after we were told that my doctor would not be able to come in that night, but to go ahead and go to labor and delivery. Since the specialist's office is at the hospital it wasn't too far, but it was raining so Cody went to get his truck and take me to the other side of the hospital. I sat down outside waiting for him and I just felt numb all over - I was going to have my baby today and she was going to be five weeks early. It still hadn't really hit me. Again, I felt as though I knew what was going on, but I hadn't really come to terms with it yet and my body was just going through the motions.

We got to labor and delivery and had to wait on registration which took what seemed like forever. By the time we checked in my mom was there with my bag and we were ready to go up to my room. In the room they told me to dress in the hospital gown and that they would come hook me up to monitors soon. As soon as they did I found out that I was actually having contractions...silly me thought Kaitlyn was just moving funny. I had even told Cody that she was making me feel tight in my stomach - yeah, shows how much I know! Then the doctor on call came in to talk to me. He told me I had two options. One, we could do a c-section that night, or two, we could wait until the morning and have me induced. I asked what each meant as a risk and he told me that neither one would be a risk for me, but that natural labor might cause Kaitlyn some stress because of the low amount of fluid, but there was no way to tell. That did it for me - c-section it was. As terrified as that made me there was no way I was going to risk anything happening to Kaitlyn. After Cody and I talked about it and agreed on having it we told the doctor and it was scheduled for 8:00 that night. By now it had to have been after 6:00, so I had some waiting ahead of me. Cody's mother was there by then and my dad came soon after. Cody's dad has a new job in Sherman so he was driving in, but made it before I went in for the surgery.

I ended up going back around 8:20. I remember being so scared that my legs were literally shaking the bed. They were going to do something called a spinal block instead of an epidural and Cody couldn't be in there with me for that. They opened the doors to the operating room and I felt like I was in a movie. The lights were so bright and the room seemed just huge to me. As soon as I sat down to get the spinal that Leona Lewis song came on the radio - the one that goes, "You cut me open." and "I keep bleeding." All I could do was laugh and I could hear Cody out in the hall saying, "You have to be kidding me." I told you I felt like I was in a movie and the soundtrack was just right! :) Almost instantly I couldn't feel anything from my chest down. They had to help me to the table and then Cody could come in. The nurses strapped my arms down and that's really when I think I started to panic, but I couldn't do anything about it. I could hear the doctor talking to me and I understood everything that was being said, but I couldn't talk at all. I was trying so hard to say something, but nothing would come out of my mouth. In my mind I thought I was going to be one of those cases where they gave the wrong amount of medicine and now I was going to be a vegetable for the rest of my life. But when they realized I wasn't answering they gave me some oxygen and then I could finally speak - although it was barely anything that made sense from what Cody told me.

The c-section was the weirdest experience of my entire life. I didn't feel one ounce of pain - no cutting or anything. But I did feel pressure and it was so very strange. I knew they were literally taking my insides out and I felt nothing but pressure. Then they told me they were going to push down on my to slide her down a bit more and that's when I felt the entire table move. It was beyond crazy. Soon after I heard the best sound ever - Kaitlyn was crying - and loudly! That meant she could breathe and I was overjoyed! I could sort of see them cleaning her up out of the corner of my eye, but as I tried to turn my head I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I caught a glimpse of Cody holding her in front of me, but again I was fighting harder than I ever fought before to stay awake. Then the NICU nurses took her back to the NICU and the nurse told me I could go to sleep...and I really don't remember too much until the next morning. I do remember saying something to my parents and Cody's parents when I got back to the room after a while and also when our music minister from church came up to check on me - I would know that voice anywhere! :) But the rest is all a blur. I think it was the combo of the medicine and the relief of all the stress I had balled up since that afternoon.

I am so thankful for all the doctors and nurses that helped with the c-section that night. Because of them I have the best thing that has ever happened to me!!