Legacy

What exactly does the word legacy mean? It's hard to really say. If you look it up on dictionary.com this is what comes up:

"anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor"

Kaitlyn is my legacy. And that's what I am for my grandmother - her legacy. Kaitlyn is part of that too.

I lost my grandmother the day we roomed in with Kaitlyn at the hospital. She never got to meet Kaitlyn. She saw pictures, but never got to meet her - she missed it by one day.

I knew it was going to happen, and I knew it was going to be soon, so it really was no surprise when I got the phone call from my dad...but it didn't hurt any less. My grandmother went home from the hospital with a hospice nurse the day that I had Kaitlyn. My family tried to keep it from me because of the stress I was already under, but I guess they didn't think that their whispers carried the way they did. My family had all come in from everywhere to say goodbye to my grandmother - something I didn't get to do because I was at the hospital with my daughter. I know I shouldn't feel guilty and there's really no controlling what happened, but I would have loved to been able to say one last goodbye.

I was able to go to her funeral though. It was the day after we came home with Kaitlyn, and Cody's mother was so gracious to come watch her for about two hours. The pastor that did the ceremony talked about how my grandmother always had a sense of family and home no matter what. If you knew how many times my dad and his family had to move because of my grandfather's time in the army you would understand just how special that really was. My dad and his two sisters each graduated high school in a different country - yes, country. But no matter where they went my grandmother made it feel like home.

I didn't get to say goodbye and honestly it was so hard for me to really comprehend that it really happened because I had been so focused on Kaitlyn and her getting better. But now I've had some time to reflect and think back to how amazing my grandmother truly was. She always lived closed to us so I was lucky enough to have her in my life while I was growing up. She came to birthday parties, Christmas mornings, graduations - everything. She was the one who picked Tony or I up at school when we were sick because mom and dad were working in Dallas. When it came to grandmas it just didn't get much better than mine. That's why I want to create that same sense of home that my dad and his sisters had growing up. That's what I want for Kaitlyn and that's what I'm going to make sure I do for her. My grandma would have wanted me to.

Here are some memories I have of her:

-Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments - every year in July she would get us a Wish Book from hallmark and each of the grandkids would pick out the ornament we wanted. (I wrote a blog earlier on this) The one I got this year is for Kaitlyn - Baby's 1st Christmas. I love that it's the last one that is truly from my grandmother. It wasn't just ornaments either with Grandma. She sent a card for every occasion. If you went into the Hallmark store with her you would smile because all the clerks knew her by name. I swear she helped to keep that store in business.

-Her having two televisions in her living room. She had to do this she said because the sports seasons overlapped. She'd watch the rangers and the cowboys or mavericks or whoever was on. If two televisions were on it was because there were two games on at the same time and she couldn't miss them. :) My favorite thing that she would say when she got mad at a team was, "Awh, come on!"

-Her dollhouse. She made the most amazing dollhouse in the side of the wall in her sunroom. It had pictures on the wall of all of us grandkids when we were babies. She made food and plants out of a special kind of dough and then would paint it. It looked amazing. When I was younger she let me go in and "check" to make sure everything was in the right place. Occasionally a fork or something would be a little out of place (in my eyes) and she would let me carefully move the glass back and take tweezers and move it back into place. She also came to my 4th grade class to speak about the dollhouse hobby to my whole class. I was so proud and I don't think I stopped smiling the whole time she was there.

-The "cookie drawer." It was the bottom drawer in her cabinets right by the fridge. She always had it stocked with cookies and no matter when we asked we could always get one.

-She never missed an episode of The Price is Right or Wheel of Fortune.

-She had sooo many clocks in the house and it seemed like all of them "tocked" at different speeds, but that was the sound of Grandma's house.

-When Tony and I would spend the night sometimes on a Friday we would wake up to the smell of bacon. She always made us bacon with our breakfast.

-She always had peppermints in the living room and in the car. You always had to be prepared for fresh breathe.

-She taught me to write the names, locations, and dates on the back of pictures. I never thought I would forgot people's names and where we were until recently when I came across some old pictures from junior high. Wish I would have followed this advice more.

-When she IMed me while I was away at college she signed each IM screen "Love, Grandma"

-She knew real love when it hit her - my grandfather and her eloped. They drove from Shreveport to Waskom, TX when she still lived with her parents. They married in Waskom and she was home by curfew. They kept it a secret for almost a month and a half! I always loved listening to that story. Once I asked her if it made her sad to talk about my grandfather (he did when I was four) and she told me of course not. She loved to celebrate his life.

I could go on forever. I know that I was truly blessed to have a grandmother like the one I had. She was beyond amazing. She was a role model, a teacher, and just an extrodinary woman. I want to help live out her legacy in my life and my daughter's - and I intend to follow through with that.