Please tell me you just sang that title...if not then we can't be friends...okay...now go back and sing it and then we can go back to being friends. :)
Ever had one of those days where you just want to scream into your pillow?
Anybody?
Bueller???
Well, today was one of those days for me. I had my annual freak out moment. It happened.
My poor, poor husband.
It all started when I was trying to sit still in a workshop this morning. It's the first one that I've been to this summer and usually I'm pumped about going because adult conversation is beyond amazing when you spend most of your hours listening to the latest three year old drama about Rapunzel and Flynn. Plus, I knew some of my old teammates would be there and I love them dearly.
Now, for the record, I think the presenter was a wonderfully nice lady and she wrote a pretty darn amazing math book that I plan on using a lot this year. But I'm not programmed at all to sit still - one of the main reasons I don't expect it from my students either. If a student has to stand up in the middle of their work I'm totally cool with that, because there is no way I could go without moving for long periods of time without driving myself crazy.
So - you've got the me not being able to sit still. You've got the freezing temps in our professional development center. And then to top it all off I answered a math question in a way that confused a whole lot of other people.
Sorry. I can't help it that my brain just works a bit differently. Get over it and move on people. But one lady just couldn't let it go. She made this scrunched up face and said my way made no sense. Then we watched a video where a 3rd grader did the exact same thing I did. Boo to the yah lady. (I'm not sure what that says about my math brain if I'm thinking like a 3rd grader, but oh well.)
So I was not in the best of moods. Luckily I was able to go to lunch with a dear friend who I haven't seen in a few weeks so that made my day better.
The calm before the storm if you will. At least the calm had carbs...lots and lots of carbs.
I'm not sure when exactly the next part happened. Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the bad drivers around me. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't get Spotify to play over my car stereo like I normally do. Maybe it was a fancy combo of all the little things. But I worked myself into a pretty bad mood.
I'm driving K home from seeing my parents - my dad recently had surgery and we were checking in on him. She started complaining about being hungry, so I called Cody to see if he was already home. My plan was to pick up something on the way home for dinner - you know, working on that mom of the year award again.
I'm not exactly sure what Cody said, but something set me off. It was something along the lines of where do you want to go or where do you want me to meet you.
Pretty normal husbandy type question don't you think?
But for some odd reason it set me off. I wanted him to say, "Don't worry about it babe. Let's go to (insert name of any Mexican place here)."
So I lost it. Literally - yelled at the poor guy...in front of my 3 year old.
I know, I'm awful.
It ended up being this all out cry after I got the first few sentences out about how I don't have enough time to get my classroom ready. I don't know where I'm going to put everything. Blah, blah, blah.
I hung up the phone and cringed. What did I just do? I took out all my stress about my classroom on Cody and he didn't deserve it at all.
K had been quiet this whole time and heard everything, which I hate. I gently told her I was sorry for yelling and asked for her forgiveness. She just looked at me with her sweet little face and said, "I love you Mama."
Bless that sweet girl.
I hate that it happened. I would like to say I calmed myself down and was fine when I got home, but I was still pretty snippy with my poor hubby.
But now that the big freak out has happened I'm hoping it's all better from here. I still have so much work to do, but it could be so much worse. I know I need to stop counting the things that stress me out and count my blessings. I have far more of those than I even deserve.
Here's hoping I can do just that......because I do have another workshop tomorrow.....
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