Home Update

So, apparently I was wrong and our house didn't go on the market the day after Christmas.  I just got an email today from the relator's office that the pictures are done and the listing will go up later today.  After we look and "approve" the listing they will send out a "blast" to over 1,000 realtors. 

Wow.  I guess it's really happening.  

I keep going through so many emotions.  Excitement of a new house.  Scared that nobody will like this house.  Terrified that we'll sell this one and not find another house that has everything I want.  Sadness of leaving so many great memories behind.  

That last part kind of caught me off guard at first.  I've done nothing but want to get out of this house for the last few years, but the thought of actually doing it makes my heart hurt a bit.  This is where Cody and I spent our first year of marriage.  It's where we brought Kaitlyn home.  It's been where we've shared laughs, game nights, and everything in between.  We've even had a few arguments - haha!  ;)  

All I know to do is pray.  Pray that this is the right choice for our family and that better things will come.  

Also praying that I can keep a house with two dogs and a four year old clean for showings in the near future!  

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Sex - sexy - love making - etc. etc. etc.

Now, before you think I've gone crazy I will not be sharing ANY personal details about my marriage.  What this post is about is how many stinking places I have to see and hear about sex every day.  I finally got disgusted with the television and turned it off.  My poor daughter was exposed to the words sexy and sex 3 times in under 10 minutes.  What were we watching?  FAMILY FEUD.

Seriously?

This is what our society has become?  I can't even watch a game show with my daughter without the fear of her hearing something inappropriate?  And a game show with the name family in it?

Sadness.

I can't take her in the mall without seeing barely clothed women in Victoria's Secret's windows.  Heck, I can't even drive to the mall without passing a place called Cindy's that has "costumes" in the windows.

Don't even get me started about turning on the radio.

I can't stand this.  I just want to stick her in a bubble and say, "This is not beauty.  This is not love.  This is not who you have to be."  Right now she's 4 and easily listens to me.  What happens when she's 16 and thinks her mom knows nothing, but those girls at school do?

I don't want her to live a sheltered life, but my goodness!  I feel like we've all lost classiness.

Do boy moms worry about them being exposed to all this?  I'm sure it's hard to bring up a Godly man when there is temptation all around.  Do they grow up thinking women have to be like this?  I was so sadden a few weeks ago when the Victoria Secret fashion show came on.  Young teens from my church were posting about how excited they were that it was on.  Others were posting how fat they thought they were and how the show reminded them they needed to lose weight.  These girls were already smaller than most girls will ever be.

Why did we become this way?  How?  When did it get this bad?

Remember when Lucy and Ricky walked into their bedroom?  They had separate beds.  Sex was never once mentioned.

Now it's everywhere.  You can't even watch a family game show.  And if you do find a pretty decent show...well, just brace yourself for the commercials.  :( 

Home Sweet Home

Our house goes on the market the day after Christmas.  I'm still kind of shocked to see the for sale sign in our yard each time I drive home.  We've talked about this for a while now, but it's actually happening now.

We're not moving to another city or anything like that.  We just want another house.  I'm not really looking for much bigger, although of course that might be nice.  The house that we're in now just has never felt like home to me.  I can't explain why, but it just doesn't.

I bought the house myself the first year I was teaching.  I was so excited about getting a place of my own and just didn't take the time to consider everything the future would hold.  I looked at it as our starter home.  Cody shopped with me because we were already engaged and knew he would be living with me right after we got married.  My dad was a financial adviser and advised me to not get an apartment, but to find a small house so that I could make my money back one day.  Cody and I agreed that we would live here for a few years then try to find something more "homey" to me.  I knew I didn't want to raise children in this house.

Kaitlyn is now 4.

So, we finally bit the bullet and we're doing it.  We have a wonderful friend at church who just happens to be a relator and someone we both trust.  He has made the process painless and I'm thankful for that.  I'm not sure how long it will take to sell, but we're not in a hurry.  I said the goal was to be out of here and settled into a new house by the time K starts kindergarten.  Well, that's in the Fall of 2014.  I hope it doesn't take that long, because patience has never been my strong point, but I'm surprisingly calm this time around.

My main concern is finding that Goldilocks house - you know, not too this and not too that, but just right.  I'm not looking for fancy, I'm not looking for huge - I just want home.  I'm not sure what that means yet, but I'll know it when I see it.  It will be that house where I can see K doing her homework and having friends over.  It's that house where I can see me finally getting to host a Thanksgiving dinner or a weekly youth group bible study.

I can't wait to see what the future holds for our family!  :)

Elf on the Shelf

We became one of those families this year.  One of those families that has an elf - an elf on the shelf.  Someone at K's school mentioned having an elf at their house and she told me how much she wished Santa would send an elf to her house.

What's a mom to do?

Go to Target and get one - that's what.  And then to Barnes and Noble because Target was out of the skirts and we wanted a girl one.  Yes, I am THAT mom.

Thus began the daily routine of moving the elf, dubbed Sparkle, into a new spot.  Some spots are goofy, some sweet, and some that are kind of "normal" ones because this mama was running out of ideas.  Now, don't get me wrong - the elf totally creeps me out.  I was the girl that made my parents bag up my Raggedy Ann doll and put it in the attic when I was little after I saw an episode of Unsolved Mysteries where a Raggedy Ann doll was supposedly possessed.  After I saw that, I was scarred for life and still want nothing to do with those dolls.

But my daughter doesn't think her elf is creepy, so I'm doing it.  Each and every day until Christmas comes.  And guess what?  I'm actually putting effort into it.  I am so tired of people on Facebook telling me in a not so subtle way that what I'm doing is stupid.  Yes, in a way I'm lying to my kid.  Yes, the doll is creepy.  Yes, the elf does bad things. 

If you don't like it, well, don't look at it.  Or you know what?  Go ahead and unfriend me.  I don't do it for your approval, I promise.  I do it for my daughter and to share those moments with my family and close friends that LOVE to talk to K about it.   

Let me elaborate:

Lying to my kid - I get it.  Not everyone wants to do Santa, the elf, etc.  But I do and I hate the judgement for it.  My daughter gets SO VERY excited every morning when she gets to go find Sparkle.  If you could see her face you would do it in a heartbeat too.  K believes in Santa, but she knows about Jesus too.  She can tell you the entire Christmas story if you'll take the time to listen.  She knows where to find it in her bible too.  Am I bragging?  No.  I'm just putting it out there that we do instill in her the true meaning of Christmas while also celebrating the "Santay" part.  I love that she still has her innocence.  Trust me - my being a teacher for this long has let me see too many children that lose that way too early.  Our culture is making kids grow up way too fast and I'm tired of it.  I'm not pushing my daughter into having adult conversations with us, to dress older than her age, or to not have an imagination.  I want her to be 4.  If your family chooses not to have Santa, I'm okay with that too.  Everyone knows what is best for their family, but please don't tell me what I'm doing with mine is wrong - every. single. day. on. Facebook.  We get it - you don't like it.  Point made.

Our elf does do some "bad" things.  Sparkle hasn't done anything too crazy, but she does do some things that I would hope K would never do.  But guess what?  I do things each day that I wish I wouldn't do.  That's the point I'm trying to make with K and her elf.  We all mess up, but there is grace.  If only the truly good people got presents for Christmas there would be no Black Friday and no crowded parking lots right now.  We all get second chances (and third, fourth, etc.) and thank God for that!  My first graders learn about grace when it's time for their first folder sign.  I pull each of them aside and tell them that I should sign their folder because of their actions, but we all deserve grace and this is your one grace when it comes to me signing your folder.  The next time you break our class promises I will sign your folder.  And guess what I see?  They begin to grace each other.  When Sparkle does bad things we talk to K about grace and how God forgives us.  Now guess who is talking about grace - and not just because it's her middle name?  ;)

Does it take me a little extra time to make Sparkle do some silly things? Yep, but nothing has taken longer than five minutes.  And each minute that I've used is worth it to me when I hear my daughter say, "Sparkle!  You have to try harder to be good, but I still love you!"

Yep - I love that elf.

The Voice of Truth

I've tried so many times to start this post.  I honestly just don't think any words right now will be enough.  With that said, I know whatever I end up writing won't even get close to what I'm trying to express, but I'm doing it anyway.

Yesterday rocked me to the core - as a mother, as a teacher, and quite simply as a human being.  It was like my worst fears from every aspect of my life came true in another town and classroom.  I still cannot wrap my mind around it.  If I'm honest with myself, I'm not sure I want to get to that point.

I had an unique experience with the news yesterday in that I didn't work a full day.  K had her Christmas program at school, so I took the morning off.  As I was driving back to work Cody called me and told me the news.  Immediately I went numb.  Of course any shooting that you hear of will sadden you, but a school?  When he said elementary school, I had to ask him to repeat himself because surely I heard it wrong.  I was just dumbfounded.

I pulled into the parking lot at my school and just sat in my car for a minute.  My kids were at lunch and I had a little while before I had to pick them up.  I've learned over the years that one of the hardest parts of being a teacher is trying to put on a happy face when something terrible has happened.  My first year teaching was the year Katrina hit New Orleans, and trust me I had some hard questions coming from sweet kinder kiddos.  We even had three evacuees that came and joined our class that year.  Those three kids taught me a lot and I am thankful they were in my classroom that year.  It made me a better teacher.  I learned quickly that academics are important, but helping kids to fill loved is an even greater responsibility. 

But as I walked into my school a different kind of sadness came over me.  All I could think about were those parents getting those phone calls.  I was imagining moms at home thinking their child was safe in a classroom and then dropping the phone once they learned the news.  I imagined other parents at work in an office going about their day and then having the world stop.  My heart was heavy knowing the pain they were going through.

As I walked to the cafeteria to pick up my students and saw a lunchroom of innocent children, my eyes started to tear up.  I knew I had to pull it together for the sake of the kiddos, but my goodness it was hard.  I looked into the faces of each one of my students and my heart just ached for those who had just lost their life.  I kept thinking, how could someone do this?  How?  Beautiful, innocent children...

We went back to the room and carried on as usual, although my mind was a million miles away.  We had library at 1:00 and when we arrived, the librarian had a news report on her computer (not to where the kids could see, but I go behind the desk to check in their books).  As I read the report of it now being 20 kids I thought to myself - that's my whole class.  20 kids.  20 parents that will never get to hold their precious child again.  20 empty beds.  20 futures just gone.  How?  Why?

I looked at the carpet where my students were sitting listening to Jack and the Beanstalk.  I looked at their smiles when something funny happened.  Then for whatever reason my mind went to their parents' faces and then the tears really started coming.  I had to get up and leave for just a few minutes.  I went back to my empty classroom and cried a bit and prayed.  I didn't know how to pray or what to pray for - I just asked God for peace knowing that will not come any time soon for those families, students, teachers, and community.

The next thing that happened some people might not believe, but I honestly don't care if they do or not.  I know what happened and my kids know what happened, and quite honestly I am still in awe of it.  I debated whether or not to tell anyone or even write this, but I'm doing it anyway.

When we got back to the room after a while we started up our word work groups.  This means one group of kids is with me at my small group table, while the rest of the kids are in their groups working on various spelling tasks.  One of our classroom ipads was on my presentation cart.  The kids use it for various games and activities, and I also use it for a timer and I play music from Pandora during independent writing time.  Lately we have been listening to Christmas piano music.  As I was working with my group, my mind began to wander again.  I was still so sad thinking of how it happened, what the students in the other classrooms must have heard and felt, what those poor parents were going through, and also how anyone could do such an awful thing.  I literally had so much going on in my mind that I was having a hard time teaching my small group.  I looked up at my students all working at their tables and all of a sudden, with no kids around it, the ipad came on and started playing, "The Voice of Truth." by Casting Crowns.  All my kids were in their seats, and I still have no idea how it turned on and they were just as surprised as I was.  When I got up to look at the ipad, Pandora had been opened and it said it was on quick mix.  I would never play Christian songs in my room for obvious reasons, so the fact that it picked that song was just a fluke thing.  Or maybe it wasn't.  All I know is it was exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment.  Yes, there is evil in this world.  Yes, there is hurt, pain, and so many unanswered questions, but there is also the voice of truth and that's what I need to remember.  As I said, I know this is hard to believe, but all I know is that it really happened.

Do I think the tragedy that happened yesterday was part of God's plan?  No - not for one single second.  Yesterday happened because of a man that had no hope.  Do I think yesterday happened because we have too many guns?  Nope.  As one of my friends put on facebook yesterday, crazy will always find a way.  If not guns, it would have been something else.  There are plenty of children that are killed by drunk drivers, but we're not going to take away alcohol and cars are we?  People who follow the rules will keep doing so, and those who don't will keep breaking them.  Changing laws will not change the bad guys.

So, as sad as it sounds I am not finding comfort in anything on this world.  Not in people, not in events, not in anything.  My hope is found out of this world.  The voice of truth to me is that one day we will be in Heaven and there will be no more pain, tears, or sorrow.  God never said this life would be an easy one, and free will is a scary, scary thing.  But I lean on the voice of truth and the only thing that gives me true comfort is that.

Dismissal yesterday was different.  I walked outside and was taking in how parents were hugging their kids a little longer.  I spoke with a mom of one of my students and she could barely get words out.  Yesterday changed me as a mother and a teacher.  I can't even imagine how those teachers in Connecticut go on with the rest of the school year.  How can they step back into that school and teach students?  I have no idea how those students can go back in that school knowing what happened there.  I can only imagine the nightmares that are about to come.  My heart hurts for those parents who were anticipating the joys of Christmas morning and now will be left with a void.  My heart hurts for the siblings who have lost a part of themselves.  I pray for the whole community - I pray that somehow, someday, they find peace and the voice of truth.


But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Love and Logic

Parenting is hard.  Plain and simple.  Sure, it's a blast and there are so many wonderful things about it, but when you think about how responsible you are for bringing up a child the "right" way it's a bit overwhelming.  

Cody and I are by no means perfect parents and are still learning things each and every day.  Early on in K's life I read the Love and Logic book about discipline.  I loved the ideas that Love and Logic had for the classroom and I was interested to know what the parenting approach was.  The two are very similar and I thought it would be easy to implement from the get go.  I especially love the "going brain dead" part.  Easy enough and keeps me from saying something I will regret later.  

I will admit thought that sometimes I felt like I was going a bit overboard with somethings.  If K argued with me at all I would say, "Uh oh!" and put her in timeout.  It seemed so silly at the time, but man am I thankful for it today!  She is so respectful and I am so thankful I took the little steps before.  Is she perfect?  No way, but I see other kiddos and how they talk to their parents and how it could be.  

Cody took a little longer to get onboard with the whole Love and Logic thing.  He thought the whole thing was ridiculous at first and had the mindset of we're the parents so you'll listen to us no matter what.  It's how most people my age were raised and we turned out just fine, but I think about how exhausted our parents must have been!  Once Cody saw easy it was and how much it worked we double teamed it and the results were even better!  

Cody and I have even had the chance to lead a dvd series of Love and Logic parenting classes for our church twice and once for another church.  I always feel like I have to defend myself because we only have Kaitlyn and I know it's much harder with multiple kids.  Then again I've done it for 8 years with an average of 20 kiddos in a class and if you don't think that takes time and practice please come to my classroom and try it out for a day.  Dare ya!  ;)

I'm writing this today because I was going through some pictures on my computer and found this one from my niece's birthday party that was in August.  She was trying so hard to open her presents and the rest of the kids were crowding around her and "helping."  My sister-in-law had asked them several times to sit down and they just wouldn't listen.  My sweet K never once got out of her seat and looked back and me and gave me a thumbs up.  In that moment I was so thankful for all the time we had put into implementing Love and Logic.  As I said, she is in no way perfect, but I was one proud mama that day.  It was worth all the looks I've received in public for taking her to her "mobile uh-oh spot" or the tears I've seen for making her pay me with toys.  

I'm sure I'll have to read the teen year Love and Logic book too....but quite frankly that scares me to death right now so I choose not to think about it just yet.  I'm enjoying the young years too much right now!

Explorer of the Week

I've never had a star of the week or anything like that, but at my new school each class does it, so I had to figure out something to do.  :)

Since our room is a jungle theme, I came up with having an explorer of the week.  I'm LOVING this so far, and so are the kiddos!

Our explorer has a "job" for each day of the week.  I send home our giraffe bag (thanks to my friend Leigh Anne who gave me the bag!) on Friday and their activities begin the following week.  Here's our schedule:

Monday: Bring back Zeke the zebra with the Star Journal where they have recorded what they did with Zeke that weekend.  (This is probably my favorite part so far because the kids and parents are really getting into this.  Zeke has had his picture taken at a TCU football game, Dave and Busters, a wedding, and has even had his name spelled out with siblings and cousins!)

Tuesday: Bring in the All About Me sheet with photos.  (Most kiddos are bringing in posters)

Wednesday: There is an estimation jar (really more of a tube) that the students can fill with anything.  They record the actual number on a recoding sheet and on Wednesday the class makes estimations before finding out how many pieces are in the jar.  The explorer of the week is not allowed to use more than 100 things.  :)  So far we've had lego pieces (twice) and skittles.  It's awesome to see how the kids are already improving on their estimation skills!

Thursday: The explorer of the week's parents are encouraged to write a letter to the class telling them about their kiddo.  The parents are also encouraged to come eat lunch with their student.  This has been so heartwarming to me!  The letters are just precious and some of the parents have made the lunch a very special time - bringing balloons, favorite lunches, and special desserts.

Friday: The explorer of the week is allowed to bring two items from home for show and tell.  The kids LOVE this one.  :)

Proverbs 31 Wife

What woman doesn't want to be a Proverbs 31 wife?  We hear it all the time, and it sounds good in theory doesn't it?

But guess what?  It's hard.  Plain and simple.

Of course trying to be "perfect" at anything is hard.  That's why I just can't do it.  I've come to accept that.

But just because I can't have perfection doesn't mean I can't give it all I've got.  I've read lots of things about being a Proverbs 31 woman, and honestly I didn't like all of them.  Some made me feel guilty about what I know is my true calling in life - teaching.

Then I came across this book.

Now this is what I had been looking for!!!  I knew after the first few pages this was the book for me.  I immediately related to the author, Sara Horn, on so many levels, and I'm convinced we would be great friends if we ever did meet.  :)

Here's a passage that literally had me laughing aloud (which also got me a goofy look from the hubs):

Who doesn't want her kids to like her so much they bless her or actually pay her a compliment?  Who doesn't want her husband praising her and going on and on about how great the house looks and how good dinner was?  

I felt antsy about this topic, so I did what I always do when I'm stressed.  I cleaned.  The kitchen was a wreck, with papers and odds and ends from my son's first week of the school year all thrown haphazardly onto the counter.  The sink sat full of dishes, and the stovetop hadn't been cleaned in days and stains around the burner had lingered for weeks and weeks.  My husband is a great cook, much better than I am, but not so great at cleaning.  I'm good at cleaning, just not so good at making time for it.  

As I put some things away, I noticed the messy pantry, not to be outdone by the similarly disorganized fridge, so I spent about two hours reorganizing everything.  I pulled things out, I put things back.  I tossed old veggies that were past their prime.  I moved cake-and-cookie decorating stuff out of drawers and into a nearby closet, since I don't use them very often.

I cannot tell you the number of times I have done just that when I'm frustrated about the kind of wife and mother I am.  My kitchen cabinets have been organized so many times due to that exact stress.

The book goes on about how Horn tries for a year to be the best Proverbs 31 wife she can be.  It's funny, sad, and to me - all together amazing.  Horn is so real in her experiences and doesn't leave out the hard times.

This was by far the best book I've read in a long time, and one that has honestly changed my life.  It's also a quick read, well, for me it was.  I couldn't put it down and finished it in less than 12 hours.  I've noticed my attitude has changed and I'm more reflective of the type of wife and mother I am.  I'm letting some things go and stepping up in other areas - because my family is worth it.

I highly recommend all wives to read this book!

There's also a Proverbs 31 Wife blog that Horn has.  Check it out here.

Where Are We

I've never had a "Where Are We" sign.  Crazy to think I'm going into my 8th year and I've never had one.

Trust me - the front office would love for me to have had one.  I cannot tell you the number of times they were trying to find me and I was with my class in the science lab or outside for an activity.

So, I decided after seeing a million pinned on Pinterest this summer I would do it.  Now, I didn't go for a fancy smancy one.  I just stuck to paper and labels this time.

But I kind of like the way they turned out.  :) I used just a notepad from Mardel and printed labels.  I should have probably bought clear labels, but I already had these and goodness knows I've already spent a lot on my classroom this month!

Why oh why is August always the month when I decided I HAVE to have something for my room???

Anyway - back to the signs.  So I used my trusty home laminator and now all I have to do is cut them out and punch a hole in each top for a binder ring.

Now my goal will be to find "that kid" who can remind me to change it each time we leave.  There's at least one in every class.  ;)

Donors Choose

If you are a teacher you NEED to know about Donors Choose.

If you love to support teachers and students you NEED to know about Donors Choose.

Basically, Donors Choose is awesome.  End of story.

Donors Choose is a website where teachers can post projects that they would like to have funded in their classroom.  Teachers can request things from materials, books, furniture, guest speakers, and even field trips.  Other people can read the projects, and then choose to fund them in part or all of it.

Go check it out here.

Amazing huh?

Personally I have had several projects funded.  My brother was the first one who told me about this site, and I have to admit I didn't believe it until the very first box of materials came to my classroom.

In return for the donation, teachers are asked to create a thank you package which includes letters from the students, a letter from the teacher, and pictures of the students using what was bought.  (With signed permissions slips from parents of course!)  But what teacher wouldn't want to send a thank you?

So one of my latest projects was probably one of my most expensive because it was a piece of furniture.  Anyone in the teaching world knows that furniture costs an arm and a leg, so I honestly didn't think this one would get funded.

But on Saturday my amazing parents decided to fully fund the rest of the amount.  Talk about thankful! I love them so much and I love that they support me in teaching.  Both of my parents are/were accountants (my dad actually works for the FDIC now).  They have never once made me feel bad about wanting to serve as a teacher.  They have supported me 100% of the way.  I am forever grateful to them for that.

So this is what I'm getting!  I'm so pumped!!!

So, go check out Donors Choose and good luck!!!

Little by Little ;)

The school I'm transferring to next year is Little and that's how this organizing process is going - little by little.  But it is getting there.  :)

My hubby was off work last Friday and was able to keep K so that I could go sweat it out at school.  I spent a little over six hours there and was able to get a lot of organizing done.  I still have some more to do, but I made a lot of progress.  I moved furniture around a lot and was able to start seeing how our classroom would function.  I'm itching to start the actual decorating part, but I won't let myself until everything is put away for the most part.

This was the very first shelf that I organized.  It's the new home to most of my art supplies.  Labels will come soon!  :)

For the time being my picture books that don't fit on the big shelf had to go above my lockers.  I don't love it, but it is what it is for right now.  See the hanging shelf?  Yeah, it's broken and it almost knocked me out cold the other day.  Oh the surprises that come with a new room!  This is when I'm very thankful I'm married to a man who is quite handy!

See that new cabinet?  I LOVE it!  My friend from high school (who is a kinder teacher) saw my pictures on facebook and asked if I wanted a shelf she had in storage.  Best $20 I've spent in a long time!  I put lot of math materials inside.  The best part?  I can close it!  :)  And that flower garland most likely will not be staying up there.  That was my attempt at taking it away from K without hurting her feelings.  ;)

My desk is hidden behind all those boxes and such.  The kiddos' mailboxes are there, my dry erase paddles, and my listening station books/cds/tapes are in the plastic tubs under the printer table.  My mom and I went fabric shopping the other day and found the cutest jungle print fabric for a curtain to hid the plastic tubs.  I have more storage under that table, but I'm not sure for what yet.  Trust me - I will use it though!  I also cannot wait to cover that chalkboard with paper.  I hate that green with the green on my walls!

One of the things I did on Saturday was tackle this baby.  Apparently the teacher who moved out of my room took most of her curriculum because it was organized in her cabinets and such.  So the teacher whose room she was taking dumped brought all her stuff to my room.

I managed to get it down to this.  I boxed all the decodable readers that I HATE.  Seriously - what kid wants to read books like, "The fat cat sat on the mat."  Ew.  Not sure where those are going yet, but I do not want them in my room!  These were the books that stayed in my keep pile.  

I rubber banded them up and shelved them.  Much better than being all crammed in a box.  It's like I have my own little slice of a bookroom in here.  :)

I still have all these to go through that the other teacher brought over.  SIGH.  

Here is my new rug that I bought at Ross.  I.  LOVE. THIS. RUG!!!!

Mama/Daughter Outing

Last Friday I took K to get her haircut.  Now, some might think I'm crazy, but I take her to Southlake to get her haircut.  There is a place there called Sweet and Sassy and it is beyond awesome!  I took her there for her first haircut - they do a big hoopla for the first haircut and I loved the way the treated K.  Their haircuts are still only $14 for 3 year olds and they add spray glitter, a little heart glitter thing for her face, curl her hair a bit, and give her a sucker after.  To me, K feeling that girly and special is worth the little extra drive.  Plus it gives me a reason to shop in Southlake.  :)

One of my favorite places in Southlake is the Vera Bradley store.  (Angels singing!!!)  Now, I wasn't introduced to Vera until college.  It just wasn't as big in Texas as it was in Louisiana back then.  Girl meet bag.  Girl fall in love with bag.  Girl has been hooked ever since.  :)  

So K and I headed in pre-haircut to kill some time.  I honestly had no intention of buying her anything until I saw the sweetest little purse design called Caitlyn.  Now, how do you pass that up when your daughter is named Kaitlyn and loves all things girly?  I lost all willpower, hence K getting her first Vera bag.  She loves it and has been taking it everywhere we go.  

Something tells me I have quite the shopping partner in my future!  :)  

Locker Tags

I haven't been up to my classroom in several days.  This is mostly because, believe it or not, it's not really that fun to take a 3 year old up in a MESSY room with no air for long periods of time.  Shocking I know.  My dad also recently had surgery, so I spent some time at the hospital and at my parents' house.  Luckily he is on the mend!  

So while I have been out of actual room, I've tried to take time at home when K is busy playing, napping, etc. to work on what I could.  I've almost finished making all the labels for my new binder spines, I've starting putting together my lesson plan binder for the year, and I made these locker tags.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to renumber the lockers due to the layout of my room, so I needed something to cover up the existing locker numbers.

Cutouts from Mardel + numbers cut with my Cricut + lamination* = new locker tags!

*Yes, I have my own little laminator at home.  I'm a total teacher nerd. ; )

Ahhhh....Freak Out!

Please tell me you just sang that title...if not then we can't be friends...okay...now go back and sing it and then we can go back to being friends.  :)

Ever had one of those days where you just want to scream into your pillow?

Anybody?

Bueller???

Well, today was one of those days for me.  I had my annual freak out moment.  It happened.

My poor, poor husband.

It all started when I was trying to sit still in a workshop this morning.  It's the first one that I've been to this summer and usually I'm pumped about going because adult conversation is beyond amazing when you spend most of your hours listening to the latest three year old drama about Rapunzel and Flynn.  Plus, I knew some of my old teammates would be there and I love them dearly.

Now, for the record, I think the presenter was a wonderfully nice lady and she wrote a pretty darn amazing math book that I plan on using a lot this year.  But I'm not programmed at all to sit still - one of the main reasons I don't expect it from my students either.  If a student has to stand up in the middle of their work I'm totally cool with that, because there is no way I could go without moving for long periods of time without driving myself crazy.

So - you've got the me not being able to sit still.  You've got the freezing temps in our professional development center.  And then to top it all off I answered a math question in a way that confused a whole lot of other people.

Sorry.  I can't help it that my brain just works a bit differently.  Get over it and move on people.  But one lady just couldn't let it go.  She made this scrunched up face and said my way made no sense.  Then we watched a video where a 3rd grader did the exact same thing I did.  Boo to the yah lady.  (I'm not sure what that says about my math brain if I'm thinking like a 3rd grader, but oh well.)

So I was not in the best of moods.  Luckily I was able to go to lunch with a dear friend who I haven't seen in a few weeks so that made my day better.

The calm before the storm if you will.  At least the calm had carbs...lots and lots of carbs.

I'm not sure when exactly the next part happened.  Maybe it was the heat.  Maybe it was the bad drivers around me.  Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't get Spotify to play over my car stereo like I normally do.  Maybe it was a fancy combo of all the little things.  But I worked myself into a pretty bad mood.

I'm driving K home from seeing my parents - my dad recently had surgery and we were checking in on him.  She started complaining about being hungry, so I called Cody to see if he was already home.  My plan was to pick up something on the way home for dinner - you know, working on that mom of the year award again.

I'm not exactly sure what Cody said, but something set me off.  It was something along the lines of where do you want to go or where do you want me to meet you.

Pretty normal husbandy type question don't you think?

But for some odd reason it set me off.  I wanted him to say, "Don't worry about it babe.  Let's go to (insert name of any Mexican place here)."

So I lost it.  Literally - yelled at the poor guy...in front of my 3 year old.

I know, I'm awful.

It ended up being this all out cry after I got the first few sentences out about how I don't have enough time to get my classroom ready.  I don't know where I'm going to put everything.  Blah, blah, blah.

I hung up the phone and cringed.  What did I just do?  I took out all my stress about my classroom on Cody and he didn't deserve it at all.

K had been quiet this whole time and heard everything, which I hate.  I gently told her I was sorry for yelling and asked for her forgiveness.  She just looked at me with her sweet little face and said, "I love you Mama."

Bless that sweet girl.

I hate that it happened.  I would like to say I calmed myself down and was fine when I got home, but I was still pretty snippy with my poor hubby.

But now that the big freak out has happened I'm hoping it's all better from here.  I still have so much work to do, but it could be so much worse.  I know I need to stop counting the things that stress me out and count my blessings.  I have far more of those than I even deserve.

Here's hoping I can do just that......because I do have another workshop tomorrow.....

Target Toy Clearance

Today was the day I've been waiting for - the day all the money saving mama blogs said that Target would put several toys on clearance for 70% off.

I first heard about this day last year when a friend I grew up with posted a picture of her finds and talked about how much money she saved.  I remember asking her about it via facebook and then quickly grabbing my keys and driving to 3 (yes, 3) Targets that night.  I came home with some cool finds for Christmas and some birthday presents.

Now, for those of you who don't know, Target does this twice a year.  Once in January and once in July.  They do this so that they can clear some space for the new toys coming in that season.  The markdowns usually happen slowly, but eventually all the toys they want to get rid of get down to 70% off.

So I was ready today.  Since it's Thursday K had school.  She goes Tuesdays and Thursdays in the summertime.  I normally take her about 9:30 in the summer, but because today was THE day I took her a bit earlier.  I hit up my first Target a few minutes past 8:00, and was finished with my fourth Target a little after 10:00.  Not bad if I do say so myself.

I was able to find a lot better things than I did last year.  When I added up all the original prices, it ended up being $213.  I paid $68.  I'm pretty darn proud of that!

I was able to get 3 upcoming birthday presents and 2 Christmas presents for some kiddos in my family in addition to some things for K.

I love a great bargain shopping trip!  I seriously get way more excited than I probably should.  :)

Retail: $213     Paid: $68

The Madness Continues

Painting - check

Organizing - NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.

In attempts to start the organizing process, I thought it would be best to start getting the big pieces of furniture in roughly the areas I wanted them to go in.  Have I mentioned that there is zero air during all this?  That's right - we painted with no air on.  So I went up late one night and started moving things around...again with the absence of air.

I managed to get the desks how I like them for now.  I'm going to stick to my Kagan "teams" and partners next year, so I kept that in mind.  I've never had desks before - I've always had tables.  I think I might like the extra storage desks have to offer.  We'll see.

So here's what the craziness looks like now!

There are zillions of little readers everywhere!  I'm hoping I can share the wealth and maybe keep some and "donate" to the bookroom.  Surely the rest of the teachers don't store that many in their rooms!

Change is a Comin'

This next teaching year will be very different for me.  Sherrod was my first teaching job and I taught there for seven years.  I loved every single year.  But this year after God basically yelled, "Hey!  HELLO?  I'm opening a door here for you!" I transferred schools to one closer to home and one where I can take K to kindergarten.  (It saddens me that her going to kinder isn't too far off!)

Sherrod was my work family for those seven years and I will miss it so very much, but it was time for me to make the move for my family.  I was already stressing about having to drop K off at another school and get to Sherrod on time....and I am NOT one of those teachers that can get to school five minutes before the bell rings.  I would be flustered for the rest of the day!  So, when this opportunity came along I decided now was the best time.  Who knows if two years from now if a school five minutes from my house would have any openings - let alone a first grade opening.

So Sherrod Elementary is now my work past and Little Elementary is my work future.  There will be some big differences this year I'm sure.  Sherrod was a Title 1 school and Little is not.  But as with every job there will be the good and bad.  Sherrod was awesome, but it did have it's tough and heartbreaking moments.  I'm sure Little will have it's ups and downs as well, but I'm excited to see just what is in store for me!  As always, I cannot wait to meet my new group of kiddos!  :)

But for now the BIG change for me is my classroom.  My room is very different than my room at Sherrod and I'm trying to slowly get my things in order this summer.  The first order of business was to paint.  The walls of my room were painted yellow and had accents of movie cameras and movie reels painted in a few spots.  Didn't exactly go with my jungle theme.  So, my amazing husband and I transformed the yellow and movie theme to a soft green like the one that was in my last room.  My husband did most of the work and I am so thankful for him!  I honestly think there should be some kind of support group for teacher spouses - they put up with so much!  :)

So, I'll keep posting pictures of the progress.  I can't wait to see the before and final after pictures!  :)

So some of my friends, my parents, Cody, and I moved most of my stuff to my new room.  The district moved some of the heavier things.  The teacher who left that room is still teaching first grade and took most of her curriculum because it was organized how she likes it.  So that means there is also lots of curriculum in that stash of stuff too.  Piled all in the center it looks a bit overwhelming! 

Lockers before - with stubborn daisy stickers all over!

We are now a daisy free zone.  :)

My crew about to start the painting process ;)

Movie camera before pic

Movie camera during pic

Movie camera after pic

Outlining

First coat - still so much yellow coming through

After 2 coats - that's a much better green!

Jackpot!

Everyone loves a good bargain, but when you put children's books on sale and teachers find out, you'd better get out of the way. :) I've been to enough Scholastic warehouse sales to know just how hard core it can be. So I was a little bit more than excited when K's school director told me of this little bookstore in Arlington going out of business. She told me one day as I was picking K up from school. She mentioned all the children's books were 50 cents, so honestly in my mind I was thinking they must not be that great, but she told me she had wiped them out of Eric Carle books. Well, if they had Eric Carle they were bound to have some other decent ones right? So I buckled K up and headed right to that bookstore.

Ummmm....MOTHERLOAD!!!

It was like I had stepped into a book shopping dream. There were tons of great books and sure enough all of them were 50 cents - even hardback. I quickly grabbed a basket and started my work of going though as many books as I could. I had a little over an hour until they closed.

My first shopping trip there is the first picture below. I ended up spending $33. I bought so many books for K, my classroom, and even my niece who loves Strawberry Shortcake.

So I posted the first pic on facebook and some of my friends went to grab some crazy bargains as well. My friend Chelsea went on Friday and the owner told her that they were bringing in more books from storage the next morning.

So of course I had to head back up there the next morning. Duh.

They were supposed to open at 10:00. but it being a family owned shop I went a little early and my instincts were right. I arrived about 9:30 and they were already opened. This time the shopping was a bit dirtier though. They had literally brought in bins from storage and they were quite dusty. But of course that didn't stop me from going through each and every bin.

My second trip I ended up spending $38. I still can't believe I got all the books pictured below for just over $70. It blows my mind.

Bloggy Blog Blog

Let's just face it....

I'm a horrible blogger.  

I have the best of intentions, yet somehow I never follow through with them...at least in the blog world. I'm not even sure who reads this other than a few friends here and there.  But that's okay with me because I honestly think this is more for me.

Some recent family events sparked my heart a bit and I decided I wanted to start a journal of family happenings.  Not so much one for my emotions and what not, but more of just a simple record of things that happen in our family.  So I bought this adorable little journal at the beginning of July and I keep it on my nightstand for easy access.   

For the record - I'm pretty horrible at keeping that too.  

But I have to ask myself - why do I want to journal or blog?  Sometimes it just seems so self absorbed. 

Then I go back to one of the blog entries when I was pregnant and suddenly my mind and heart are brought back to that time.  Things I thought I would never forget have casually slipped my mind, and I'm so very thankful that there are recorded somewhere.  

So I NEED to make it more of a habit to blog.  Maybe it's stupid stuff...maybe it's serious.  

Maybe I just need a blog "accountability partner" like Christians have for furthering their walk with God.  Maybe I need to just make it part of my nightly routine.  Who knows?  Either way I want to do it more often.  

I also want to blog about some of my teaching, except there is no way my blog will ever be like those over the top crazy awesome teacher blogs out there!  Where in the world do they get the time to do all that they do?  

Those chicks deserve capes to wear.  

For real.

Now, that won't be me, but I would like to record some classroom things here and there.  But I think I'll just tack it on to this blog...one more blog just doesn't make sense to have when I can barely keep up with this one and the one about Kaitlyn.  (UPDATE: I thought I could "just tack it on" to this one with the pages feature, but I was wrong.  So I did end up starting a whole new teaching blog.  Sigh) ;)

Let's see how long this lasts.....

To See or Not To See...Not Really a Question (Anymore)

Girls' Nights are some of my favorite times - hands down. I have a blast with my girlfriends and we've done everything from traveling to other cities, taking goofy pictures, and having a range of talks about anything and everything. I love my girl time and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Tonight is one of those nights and I'm pumped. The plans are to catch dinner and then a movie. Your pretty basic GNO.

Except I got this really uneasy feeling about this one because of two words:

Magic Mike

Yep - that's the plan. Dinner and then head to a movie - a specific movie. Magic Mike.

For those of you that have been under a rock, this movie is about stripping. Male stripping to be exact.

Honestly when I first saw previews for it my mind went - "Heck yes I'm going to see that! Hello! Matthew McConaughey? Channing Tatum?" What girl wouldn't want to see that on the big screen?

(Hmmm...Proverbs 31 going through anyone else's mind right now?)

So as the plans were made I told Cody that the girls and I were going to catch dinner and a movie. He asked a simple question - "What movie?"

For some reason I didn't want to tell him. (Red flag anyone?) If I was ashamed to tell my husband why should I even be considering it?

So I told him. And as soon as I did I noticed a drop in his face. Not anger- and I'm not even sure it was disappointment. It was just different and it broke my heart. I right away asked him if he was okay with my going. His response was, "Would you want me to go see a movie about girl strippers?"

Ouch.

I wanted to scream, "It's so different! It's guys not girls - they can't show as much with just a R rating." But guess what? It's not different. As much I want it to be it's not.

Can anyone say double standard?

ME! Double standard!

Who am I to say I don't want my husband to watch that type of movie and then turn around and watch it myself? Not cool Heather, not cool.

But, Cody said he was fine with me going and I texted my girlfriends back, said I was in, and then purchased my ticket online because it is, after all, the first day it's been open and I wouldn't want the disappointment of missing out.

But God wrestled with my heart all night and all morning. It just didn't seem alright with me. I even got a text this morning from another girlfriend saying she was in need of a GNO soon and I told her she could join us tonight. My text actually said, "We're going to see an inappropriate movie."

Wait right there. I called it inappropriate and was still okay going to see it?

Is that the kind of woman I want to be? The kind of wife I want to be? The kind of mother I want to be?

No. It's not.

I knew what I had to do. And that is not go. I have every reason in the world to want to go. Great friends, the okay from the hubby, and McConaughey/Tatum. What's not to love?

How about the feeling in my gut that it is just wrong?

Now I realize to some this is going to sound "judgy" and that's not my intention at all. In no way do I think people seeing this movie is going to make people horrible. I just know my own weaknesses and I'm not willing to give myself a foothold.

How can I sit in a Sunday school room and ask girls that are seniors in high school to dress appropriately so the guys aren't tempted, and then turn around and watch something that I know will tempt me?

How can I be a mom trying to raise my daughter to know what a godly woman is and then turn around and act in a way that I know is not godly?

How can I be a wife trying to honor my husband if I'm going to go watch other men take off their clothes?

I know I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend to be. But I do want to be intentional about my choices. It was just Wednesday night when I heard a message about loving Jesus and being a Christian when it's easy and convenient, but being a completely different person the rest of the time. I can't continue to say I'm one way and then act another just because it's fun.

Do I sound like a bible thumping crazy extremist Christian? Probably. And people are probably going to make fun of me. Luckily for me it's not my girlfriends though, because when I told them why I couldn't go to the movie they were all supportive. Told you my friends were awesome.   :)

I'm so thankful that they stick with someone as crazy as me!

Thankful

Wow.

That's honestly the only word I know that can describe how this weekend was for me. Scratch that - how this entire school year has been for me.

But let's start at the beginning.

I didn't grow up in church like most of my friends did. I went when I was very little and then when I was around three, for various reasons my parents stopped going. I picked back up again when I was in sixth grade when I started going to church with my friend Casee. From then on I would either go with her or talk my grandmother into coming over and taking me on Sunday mornings. Still, I didn't know a great deal about God, but the desire was there. I explained it to my husband this weekend as me having this huge empty void in my life and knowing that I had the capacity to love someone so much and it ate at me every single night as I went to bed. As a young girl I stupidly thought that feeling was meant for a boyfriend that I didn't have yet. But one night at a youth rally, I was saved and that feeling was never there again. God had made a home in my heart and I've forever been changed.

In high school, I drove myself to youth group and learned a lot more about the bible and about God. Then in college my relationship with God was even more solidified and I began dating a godly man who would later become my husband. Through a journey of trying out several area churches, we eventually ended up at First Baptist Arlington. That was probably one of the best decisions of our life.

We joined choir and a young marrieds sunday school class and began to build relationships in both groups. I have had mentors from both of those groups who helped shape me into a better wife and mother, and I know they will be people I will look up to for the rest of my life.

Then last year Cody and I felt the call to work with the youth - and that's when everything changed.

It was funny the first time we talked about it with each other because it seemed that God had been placing it on both of our hearts for a very long time, but we weren't talking to each other about it. We prayed more about it and decided to take the plunge last January when the new school semester started. Kurt (our youth minister) told us to just hang out in each department until we felt comfortable. We started with seniors because we had some friends that were already teacher there, but when we were introduced the director said, "This is Cody and Heather Bush and they will be with us for the rest of the year."

Okay - seniors it was.

I loved that group. There were so many young leaders and so many kids that loved God. They were awesome. We didn't teach yet, but helped out with events and just got to love on those kids and I am so glad we were where we were. We helped out at youth camp which was amazing too, but then the next school year was coming up and we were asked to teach.

This is when I started getting nervous. I can teach five and six year olds in my sleep. I'm good at it and I know it. Seventeen and eighteen year olds? That was a different story. I just felt as if I didn't have the talent to teach that age. I was scared to death the first Sunday we taught them. But then they started talking. :)

Now, I am not going to say that Cody and I haven't had some lessons that bombed because we have...at least in my eyes they have. But those kids have changed me. I love them plain and simple. I find myself each day at work, in my car, at home praying for them and their future. Some of them I even think of as little sisters now. And the funny thing is when I think I'm going to teach them something on Sundays, I go away being taught so much more than I would have thought.

Enter in this past weekend - Wakeup Weekend.

As I said before - wow. I saw God move in those kids' lives like I've never seen. I saw raw and powerful worship. I saw walls being broken down and students give control back to God. I was even blessed to see one of the seniors begin his life with Christ. God. Was. Moving. I have never been so humbled and honored to be in the presence of this group.

And if I were to be honest with myself, I've learned so much more about God this past year than I have in my entire life. He has changed my heart about so many things and made me uncomfortable but with good reasons. I know God put these seniors in my life to help me and I cannot thank Him enough for them. I am so proud of them and who they are becoming in Him.

But I also know May is coming and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that. I get attached to my first grade students each year and hate to see them go, but with this group it's so much more. But for now, all I know is that I am so thankful for what God is doing in their lives and mine.

Our God is so good!!!